Transforming Minds. Empowering Leaders
Coming off paternity/maternity leave and stepping into a new leadership role is a significant transition. You're not simply returning to work—you're establishing yourself in a new position while adjusting to the demands of raising your family and supporting your partner.
The key is to prepare for all three parts of your life together: your leadership responsibilities, your commute, and your family/personal commitments. Success in one shouldn't consistently come at the expense of the others.
Consider these three phases.
Before you start: Set yourself up for success
Work: Get ahead of the learning curve
· Connect with your new manager to understand expectations for your first 30, 60 and 90 days. Learn about your team, key stakeholders, immediate challenges, and what success looks like. Resist the temptation to arrive with all the answers.
Commute: Make the journey predictable
· Test your commute during actual rush-hour conditions. Identify an alternative route, calculate the realistic door-to-door time, and establish when you need to leave to be home for family commitments.
Family: Agree on responsibilities before day one
· Have a dedicated conversation with your partner about morning routines, daycare or school drop-offs, pickups, dinner, bedtime, and what happens when one of the children is sick. Divide responsibilities explicitly rather than relying on assumptions.
Your first 90 days as a leader
Days 1–30: Listen and learn
· Build relationships with your team and stakeholders. Understand the culture, operational priorities, challenges, and existing commitments. Schedule individual meetings with direct reports. Take a supportive and collaborative approach that encourages empowerment.
Days 31–60: Establish direction
· Identify two or three meaningful priorities. Clarify accountability, establish team meeting rhythms, and communicate your leadership style. Look for achievable early improvements without introducing unnecessary change.
Days 61–90: Build momentum
· Begin executing your priorities, delegate effectively, establish performance expectations, and ask your manager and team for feedback.
One important leadership principle: Don't confuse being constantly available with being an effective leader. Protect time for strategic thinking and empower your team to make decisions.
Design a sustainable weekly routine
Here is an example of how you could structure a typical workday. Adjust the times to your actual commute and family's schedules.
Time
Focus
5:30–7:00 AM
Exercise, personal preparation, breakfast and helping with the kids
7:00–8:00 AM
Commute; podcast, learning or quiet time
8:00–8:30 AM
Review priorities and prepare for the day
8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Leadership responsibilities, meetings and focused work
4:30–5:30 PM
Commute and mental transition home
5:30–8:00 PM
Family dinner, playtime, children’s activities, and bedtime routines
8:00–9:00 PM
Time with your family, household preparation
9:00 PM onward
Wind down and prioritize sleep.
The exact schedule matters less than establishing predictable boundaries. It is also important to balance your schedule with a regular exercise routine. Whether it’s early morning, mid-day, or an evening activity figure out what works with your schedule and your activity of preference.
For your commute, consider using the trip to work for professional development and the trip home to decompress. If you regularly take work calls during the drive home, it can be difficult to mentally switch into family mode.
Five habits that will make the biggest difference
Establish a weekly 20-minute family planning conversation. Review the upcoming week's work commitments, children's activities, appointments, and household responsibilities together.
Protect two or three non-negotiable family commitments. Whether it's dinner, bath time, bedtime, or weekend activities, build work around them whenever possible.
Build flexibility into your work schedule. Discuss expectations around occasional remote work, early departures, and family emergencies before they become urgent.
Maintain your own health. Schedule exercise two or three times weekly, even if sessions are only 30 minutes. Prioritize sleep, particularly while the children are young.
Check in with your partner regularly. Ask how the new arrangement is working for both of you, not just whether the household logistics are being handled.
Your personal preparation checklist
Ready for your first day
Meet with my new manager to clarify 30/60/90-day expectations
Identify my key team members and stakeholders
Test my commute during peak traffic
Agree on morning and evening responsibilities with my wife
Establish a backup plan for sick children or childcare disruptions
Block family commitments in my calendar
Prepare meals, work clothes and children's essentials in advance
Schedule exercise and personal downtime
Agree on a weekly family planning check-in
Schedule a review of our routine after the first month
Recommendations for the first 90 days
· Aim for consistency rather than perfection. There will be days when work requires more attention and others when family needs take priority. The objective is to establish a routine that is sustainable over the long term, not to prove yourself by working excessive hours in the first month.
· Show up and bring a positive attitude. If you’re “on-time” for work….you’re late!
· Look the part. Establish what the dress code is (or more important what the expectations are) and ensure you are aligned. Smart/Casual is standard for most leadership roles.
· Ensure you communicating effectively with your new leadership team, your direct reports, and your family!
